Dear Selah
As you will come to know, I am the photographer in the family - at least the one who most likes to take pictures. I stopped having studio pictures taken of my children long long ago because my own pictures are not so much a picture as a story of a time and place. Looking at them is like reading a journal and I can remember the day so much better. I remember what prompted me to take the picture, how I set it up, who teased me for taking too long - I can actually hear voices when I look at the picture years later. Each picture has its own temperature and sound. But now that I have so many pictures to look at, I also find I recorded not just bodies growing but personalities emerging. The pictures create patterns and foretell likes and dislikes. Some people are always photographed sitting and observing. Others are constantly in motion and have to be restrained momentarily for the picture. Some are always dress fashionably, others merrrily disheveled. Some always laughing, others smiling politely for the picture. These days I find myself searching for the "sound" of Nicky in his pictures. Surprisingly, I don't hear what I expected - the sound of a happy, active, sports-minded little boy. The sound is softer, gentler somehow. Maybe I'm listening more to him than to the "Nick 'n Cody" combination. I hear his heart more than his actions. I see the twinge of self-conscious impatience in his smile but also the confident, protective big brother. I see a smile that deepens when a family member is in the picture or when the backdrop is a clear blue sky.
But now that you are here I need to record that I also see such love for you, growing and deepening before you were even known. I see Nicky sitting on the grass near a beautiful beach that would beckon any normal little eight-year old. But while the other children romp, Nicky is captivated by a baby girl sitting opposite him. He offers tastes of his snacks - she leans in to accepts them like a little bird and he beams with delight. Months later, another photo of a visit to Aunt Sunny's to meet her new daughter. Cody is holding the baby but Nicky is leaning in, stroking her tiny cheek, beaming again. Other pictures taken by other people begin to capture my attention. Little Celia at church, daughters of other relatives, always creating that unique smile on Nick. Total involvement, complete love.
Then you came. Before you were even here, he waited in eager anticipation. Months before he knew you, he celebrated your birthday. The day you arrived at the airport, I photographed his back while he waited at the gate - hour after hour, not even wanting to leave to get a drink. Then you are there and he has his very own little sister. Tomorrow we celebrate his birthday without him as he celebrated yours without you. But I'll see him there with you, beaming his biggest smile ever - the one no one could capture of him alone - because he never felt like that alone. That smile only burst out when his head touched yours for that last picture. I pray today that that picture always reminds you of the love of a little boy - a love big enough to pull you from the other side of the world to join his family.
Love,
Nana
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
From Diane Morice
On April 11, 2008 Diane said:
Diane said...
had another dream .It was very short (or what I can remember of it was) Nicky was wearing a football jersey blue with orange numbers (I believe the number was 12) I think it was an Illini jersey just because he was on the field and talking to an injured Illini player who was on a stretcher saying “You’re gonna be OK You did a great job out there!” That was it. He was older though. He looked about 14 or 15 His hair was parted down the middle and it sort of looked like Sunshine’s hair after he cut it in Remember the Titans It was so amazing though it really looked like Nicky would look at that age.
Diane said...
had another dream .It was very short (or what I can remember of it was) Nicky was wearing a football jersey blue with orange numbers (I believe the number was 12) I think it was an Illini jersey just because he was on the field and talking to an injured Illini player who was on a stretcher saying “You’re gonna be OK You did a great job out there!” That was it. He was older though. He looked about 14 or 15 His hair was parted down the middle and it sort of looked like Sunshine’s hair after he cut it in Remember the Titans It was so amazing though it really looked like Nicky would look at that age.
From Jane Passaglia
On April 10, 2008 Jane said:
Yesterday, I drove by the apartment where Andi and Tony lived briefly when Nicky was a baby. I was reminded of a story Andi told me about a memorable evening there. She had entered the living room one night to find Tony sitting quietly in the darkened room with Nicky on his lap. The only light came from passing cars approaching the busy intersection nearby. Completely quiet, completely still...little Nicky, head against his daddy's chest, gazing in wonder at the moving lights. Perfect contentment, perfect safety in his father's tender embrace. I remember the love and future promise in Andi's eyes as she told the story. She couldn't have known at the time how much of Nicky's personality was emerging in that little scene. How often he would seek out that same special contentment snuggled up with the father he loved so much. Andi told the story so well I can see them there. It's a picture I will hold in my broken heart when I think of Nicky, still being held tenderly in his Father's protective arms.Jane
Yesterday, I drove by the apartment where Andi and Tony lived briefly when Nicky was a baby. I was reminded of a story Andi told me about a memorable evening there. She had entered the living room one night to find Tony sitting quietly in the darkened room with Nicky on his lap. The only light came from passing cars approaching the busy intersection nearby. Completely quiet, completely still...little Nicky, head against his daddy's chest, gazing in wonder at the moving lights. Perfect contentment, perfect safety in his father's tender embrace. I remember the love and future promise in Andi's eyes as she told the story. She couldn't have known at the time how much of Nicky's personality was emerging in that little scene. How often he would seek out that same special contentment snuggled up with the father he loved so much. Andi told the story so well I can see them there. It's a picture I will hold in my broken heart when I think of Nicky, still being held tenderly in his Father's protective arms.Jane
From Jodee Watson
On April 4, 2008 Jodee said:
Trial by Jury at the Morice's HouseBack when Andi was taking census for the town of Lockport, she had asked Briana and I to stop by one afternoon to keep and eye on the boys. Justin was over and they were out playing. Kayla Neetz was over too, and I was letting Dixie out for potty-time. Then I went around front and asked the boys where the girls went. They had no idea. Apparently they were walking just a few houses away in front of one of Briana's friend's homes around the corner, but since I was never officially informed, and had no way of leaving to look for them, my imagination just ran wild, especially cause I was responsible for Kayla.Then, they come back and the boys were waiting for them. We discussed what should be done and decided on a mock trial in the living room. Kayla was judge, the boys were the jury, but soon had to turn into court officers because Briana would not keep quiet and they found her in contempt and led her to the corner where they roughed her up a bit. She still wouldn't stop talking, so the jury decided the verdict of NO MALL FOR BRIANA, then changed their minds and decided to give her grace. It was so funny, as poor Kayla and Dixie were just silently watching the boys in action reprimand their faithful friend. But all in good fun, and wonderful memories.
Trial by Jury at the Morice's HouseBack when Andi was taking census for the town of Lockport, she had asked Briana and I to stop by one afternoon to keep and eye on the boys. Justin was over and they were out playing. Kayla Neetz was over too, and I was letting Dixie out for potty-time. Then I went around front and asked the boys where the girls went. They had no idea. Apparently they were walking just a few houses away in front of one of Briana's friend's homes around the corner, but since I was never officially informed, and had no way of leaving to look for them, my imagination just ran wild, especially cause I was responsible for Kayla.Then, they come back and the boys were waiting for them. We discussed what should be done and decided on a mock trial in the living room. Kayla was judge, the boys were the jury, but soon had to turn into court officers because Briana would not keep quiet and they found her in contempt and led her to the corner where they roughed her up a bit. She still wouldn't stop talking, so the jury decided the verdict of NO MALL FOR BRIANA, then changed their minds and decided to give her grace. It was so funny, as poor Kayla and Dixie were just silently watching the boys in action reprimand their faithful friend. But all in good fun, and wonderful memories.
From Jodee Watson
On April 4, 2008 Jodee said:
What is toilet butter?Well, Briana and the boys were talking in the ride home from Remix one Wed. night. She was asking him if he was nervous about coming to KG next year(4th-8th) and leaving Milne Grove? He was cool as a cucumber and asked her what he had to be nervous about. She told him that she'd chase him down and give him a swirly, and he threatened to embarrass her in front of whichever boy she's be talking to. Then Cody asked what a swirly was. Nick explained that's when someone puts your head in the toilet water and flushes it.Cody misunderstood and asked...WHAT IS TOILET BUTTER?(water)ha haSo, Morice's...now you know the influence us Watson's have on your kids...ha haAs Briana grieves in her very own way(usually typing away on her Wordpad,) I remind her of the toilet butter, which even through tears falling...she can't help but laugh.
What is toilet butter?Well, Briana and the boys were talking in the ride home from Remix one Wed. night. She was asking him if he was nervous about coming to KG next year(4th-8th) and leaving Milne Grove? He was cool as a cucumber and asked her what he had to be nervous about. She told him that she'd chase him down and give him a swirly, and he threatened to embarrass her in front of whichever boy she's be talking to. Then Cody asked what a swirly was. Nick explained that's when someone puts your head in the toilet water and flushes it.Cody misunderstood and asked...WHAT IS TOILET BUTTER?(water)ha haSo, Morice's...now you know the influence us Watson's have on your kids...ha haAs Briana grieves in her very own way(usually typing away on her Wordpad,) I remind her of the toilet butter, which even through tears falling...she can't help but laugh.
From Tiffany Morice
On April 3, 2008 Tiffany said:
Well I am not really sure if this is where I am supposed to write my thought down but this has been on my mind all day. I remember the last time I came home and Josh was in Iraq. Mom picked me up at the airport with Alana and I was just so tired from traveling with Felicity all day. I couldn't help but be excited however to know that my little nephew who just thought the world of my little girl was going to see us soon. When Nicky and Cody had walked through the door Nicky's eyes just opened like he had seen magic before his eyes. He ran to Felicity and just wanted to hold her the whole day. When Cody was grabbing a snack, Nicky was to busy with Felicity on the couch sitting with her and playing with her. He hadn't seen her since she was crawling before that and he was just amazed and so loving smiling like he was in heaven. I remember that day now like it was yesterday and seems to overplay in my mind every so often through the day. I love you Nicky with all my heart. Tiffany Morice
Well I am not really sure if this is where I am supposed to write my thought down but this has been on my mind all day. I remember the last time I came home and Josh was in Iraq. Mom picked me up at the airport with Alana and I was just so tired from traveling with Felicity all day. I couldn't help but be excited however to know that my little nephew who just thought the world of my little girl was going to see us soon. When Nicky and Cody had walked through the door Nicky's eyes just opened like he had seen magic before his eyes. He ran to Felicity and just wanted to hold her the whole day. When Cody was grabbing a snack, Nicky was to busy with Felicity on the couch sitting with her and playing with her. He hadn't seen her since she was crawling before that and he was just amazed and so loving smiling like he was in heaven. I remember that day now like it was yesterday and seems to overplay in my mind every so often through the day. I love you Nicky with all my heart. Tiffany Morice
From Janet Carey
On April 2, 2008 Janet said:
I, too, would worry about losing concrete, tangible memories of Nick, and so I think these "meanderings" are terrific.My favorite visual memory of Nick: at our house one warm day after I picked him up from school...he is literally flying through the air after jumping from the retaining wall. Later he's playing virtual shoot-em-up with Clark, falling, rolling, getting up again, running. I still remember how surprised I was at his energy...Celia was in awe, just watching him MOVE.Thanks for sharing this blog with us.Love from Janet
I, too, would worry about losing concrete, tangible memories of Nick, and so I think these "meanderings" are terrific.My favorite visual memory of Nick: at our house one warm day after I picked him up from school...he is literally flying through the air after jumping from the retaining wall. Later he's playing virtual shoot-em-up with Clark, falling, rolling, getting up again, running. I still remember how surprised I was at his energy...Celia was in awe, just watching him MOVE.Thanks for sharing this blog with us.Love from Janet
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